It’s then that you hear it, the cluster chord that matches the rhythm of your breathing, the pulse of your heart, the tone of this day’s hopes

you will spend the rest of your life attempting to make something that adequately transcribes this sensation.

I recently resigned my title as “Girl Who Had Never Seen 24“…and, in an unplanned move, tried to claim title on “Person to Watch Entire First Season in actual span of One Day”.  I failed. I had to quit. At 2:10 am, my eyes were too blurry to continue.

But I couldn’t sleep. If I slept, Jack’s wife and daughter would surely be killed.  So I cued up the next episode and polished my glasses.

Nodded off with Jamey’s admission of guilt roundabout 4:45.

…

It is to change the airfreshner cartridges in the bathroom. This requires a ladder, and barging into the mens room, eyes tightly squeezed shut yelling “it’s me, JoAnne, if you’re a dude –  shout out!”

Yesterday, I precariously balanced on the top rung of the ladder completing the task that I do because “only I know how to do it”.  As I pushed the reset button, slipped the waste of plastic back onto the wall, I saw the magic numbers appear.

162.

That’s how many days I have until the refill ends. Gleefully, my brain cried “ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO DAYS! That’s forever! You’ll NEVER have to do this again!”

As I perched over the third stall in the ladies room, I broke out in a rendition of that Sondheim bit from Sweeney Todd, you know the one where you just sing fast in a Cockney accent.  The lyrics, as follows:

I am starting my own businesss /I’m in the process of securing the funds to overhaul my rig! /I will take a class at NYU this Feeeebbbruaarrryyy!!

I hate theeessse people / why is my boss so eeevvviiilll / I am going to score a show for Discovery Channel / Then I won’t ever come here / No, never come hereeeee / Never never never come here AGAIN!!

Then I realized that 162 days is only about 5 months.

And I’m here til at least September.

So maybe I gotta change the airfreshners ONE more time. Sigh. At least the bathrooms are a nice accoustic for singing.

An apartment in Manhattan is nice, but it doesn’t matter.

A new pair of boots would be nice, but I already have some. So it doesn’t matter.

I should loose five pounds, but it doesn’t really matter.

It matters when my sister goes to the grocery store, or on a long run and calls just to tell me about it.  It matters that I do good writing, for any project. It matters that Christophe laughs at and with me. It matters that I strive to love at a higher cost, and at self-sacrifice, it matters that I try to change my mind about people, and yeah, it does matter if I stand in judgement of people who irk me. It matters that my Mom has warm feet at night. It matters that my apartment start feeling more like a home.  It matters that I think, It matters that I think too much. It matters that I see my friends regularly.

It’s hard to be here (601 Lexington, New York, NY) if you can’t keep a constant grip on what matters.

I, JoAnne M. Harris, have made up two very 2.0 slang expressions that will probably worm their way into common usage very soon.

*Twater is a person making hateful tweets.

*caps is an expression of agreement. Like “totes” or “yeah” or “You Bet!” Origins CAPS LOCK button. Which of course, is the full version of the expression.

• The work must be created specifically for the eligible feature-length motion picture.
• The work must be the result of a creative interaction between the filmmaker(s) and the composer(s) and/or songwriter(s) who have been engaged to work directly on the motion picture.
• The work’s eligibility shall be evaluated on its effectiveness, craftsmanship, creative substance and relevance to the dramatic whole.
• The work must be recorded for use in the motion picture prior to any other usage, including public performance or exploitation through any media whatsoever.
• In addition, scores diluted by the use of tracked themes or other preexisting music, diminished in impact by the predominant use of songs, or assembled from the music of more than one composer shall not be eligible.

You find an intellectually superior and delightfully heartfelt show to love.

I just didn’t know it would happen this fast.

THE BEST REALITY TV SHOW I’VE EVER SEEN: Girls who like boys who like boys.