change you can believe in.

12Nov08

(meager leftovers from my excursion to the city)
A faithful reader of FIVE YEARS, M. J. Larson, was expecting a post about Barack. Thus, he shall have one.
Gina is taking a social work class – – they let me sit in last Thursday. Her prof (a gorgeous woman made terrifically luminant by her passion for good-deed doing) [...]

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Tags: Barack Obama, change, Homeless man, Mike Larson, Running man, Step Up 2: the streets

The VP Debate

02Oct08

Aptly named the “Maverick”, this NERF gun features sticky darts that will not harm your TV when Sarah Palin says something stupid. With only 3 darts, I forsee an aerobic workout – dashing to the TV and back to my armchair to reload, cause the ridiculousness is going to be rapid-fire. God, I love my right [...]

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Tags: Maverick, NERF guns, Sarah Palin

Don’t go impaling my heart.

08Sep08

Thank you HEART, for having good hair on your shoulders and wearing your heads on your sleeves.

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Tags: Heart, Sarah Palin

Pretty, Pretty Palin!

05Sep08

I will head your campaign to lead Little Junior Miss Pageants across this great nation. I will vote for you to join the talking heads on the View. I will personally applaud your efforts to claim the first ever title of “World’s Best Grandmother to a Baby Born to Inept High Schoolers”.

But I would rather [...]

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Tags: Sarah Palin

My love don’t Costas a thing.

09Aug08

Dear Bob Costas,
You didn’t have to read the script.
Well maybe you did, but you could have at least gone theatrical and added a little sarcasm. Certainly, America would understand a hint of journalistic bravado! It would be expected when in a country where most journalists are under a government block. We’re the land of the free, right Bob? [...]

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Tags: 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremonies, Bob Costas, Hu Jintao, Lolo Jones, President McDummy, Vladimir Putin

Press Conference

22Jul08

 
Reply to: hr@joannescerebralmess.org
Date: 2008-07-22 1:26AM CST
 
The JoAnne M. Harris Foundation is no longer accepting applications for the position of personal heartbreaker to the CEO; JoAnne M. Harris. The position has been filled internally.
 
Therefore, the foundation wishes to apologize for any instance of belittling, condescension, weariness, bleakness, hopelessness, foul name-calling and unabated anger that may [...]

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Tags: Dana Perino, human resources, JoAnne is sometimes crazy and sorry about it, S Club Seven

Happy Birthday America

04Jul08

And Presto, Chango!
No more war!

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Tags: Barack Obama, John McCain